I'm Kirk Wheeler. It's January 12th, 2021. I'm so glad you're here.

Today, we're going to continue talking about habits, routines, and organization. And I'm excited to share with you what might be the most important lesson I've ever learned as a parent. Maybe as a human being. And there is no doubt about it. Ignorance is the source.

"Remember this. Your outward behavior is the truth. Whereas your inner perception of your behavior is often an illusion" - Jack Canfield.

This is a quote from The Power of Focus. It's a book I picked up when my son was a few years old.

I was starting my own studio business at the time and I was trying to get better at goal setting. But what I found in the book as well were many clearly articulated truths like this one. We are often ignorant of how others perceive us, and unless we ask, we'll never know the truth.

Our family has been spending a lot of time together lately. And as a dad, I noticed that there were some times I was really annoying my daughter, so I asked her a few months ago if there was one thing that I could stop doing to make our time together better, what would it be? I gave her a little time to think about it and she came back to me with something that was really surprising.

Every time I was knocking on the door to her room, I would knock and then just open the door. But what she wanted was a little space and she asked if I could just knock on the door, and wait for a response, and then open it. And just that little gap of time made our interactions in those moments much better, but if I'd have never asked, she wouldn't have told me. She would've just looked annoyed every time I did it.

The same action repeated over and over. I wasn't even aware that I was doing it. I was just moving through my day, trying to get things done, and thinking that the problem must lie elsewhere.

But like many times the problem may lie with us.

Our behavior speaks volumes about who we are and many times we don't realize that small changes can make a huge difference in how we're perceived by others.

And this is the reason this is the most important lesson I may have ever learned as a parent. We pay much more attention to what people are doing and learn from that than we do from what they say they're going to do, or would they say we should be doing. And deep down, we know this. We've read about it. We've heard it most of our lives, but it's still a daily practice to try to get it right.

And clearly it's a lesson I'm still learning.

But when I'm able to keep it top of mind, I realize that there's probably no other tool is effective for someone who's trying to guide another human being on the path to self-reliance.

But how do we keep all these things top of mind? How do we organize all the things we need to be doing?

Well, there may be a very simple solution that's often overlooked. And we'll talk about that tomorrow.

Remember there is no forever guide book to parenting. We're all learning as we go.

And when we use kindness as the language, we can ask questions to help us get better.

So good luck today. You've got this. See you tomorrow.

Buy The Power of Focus