Hello. Today is January 7th, 2021. I'm so glad you're here.
I have learned so much from so many people along my parenting journey. And one of the most helpful pieces of advice I ever received, was about what you can say when you don't have all of the answers. And after the events at the Capitol yesterday, I know many people are having a hard time finding the right words.
But that's all right. Ignorance is the source.
"The difference between sounding smart and being smart, is, I don't know." -Naval Ravikant.
For the early days of a podcast. This is a very personal story. And I was unsure if I should share it or not, but the events of the last day or so have convinced me that it's worth putting out there, for anyone who it might be able to help.
When my son was three years old, my wife was pregnant with our second child. His name was Dylan.
And we lost him to a stillbirth, about seven months into the pregnancy.
And it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.
My wife was really sick, we were away from family, although they showed up very quickly to help.
But we were really left on our own to figure it out.
And I struggled to find the words to talk to my son about what was happening.
So I called a pastor who lived across the street from us in Austin, we'd become pretty good friends while we were there, and she was so helpful.
I told her that I really just didn't know what to say, my son was asking questions that I didn't have the answers for. Or at least answers that I didn't feel comfortable framing for a three year old.
And she told me something that I haven't ever forgotten. She said you don't have to have all the answers. All you have to do is tell him, that it's okay to wonder, it's okay to not know. You can tell him that he's now a part of a community of people who wonder.
Like we all do.
And it's something I've carried with me, since that day.
And I hope you realize you don't have to have all the answers. You don't always have to know.
The difference between sounding smart, the difference between sounding like you're a great parent and actually being one is sometimes being able to say, I don't know the answer, but it's going to be all right.
And it was. A few years later, we had my daughter Elodie. And she is such a joy in our lives.
But I also know that the uncertainty of that situation is a story I can tell, I can tell my son, I'm getting the opportunity to tell you. And I hope you're able to pass it on to someone who might need it someday. The same way that pastor was able to share her story with me.
I know these days can be challenging. And like we've said, there is no forever guide book to parenting. But we build up these stories and this wisdom as we go. And we can use kindness as the language so that our words ripple out in positive ways. And we can use curiosity as the map. When the direction seems unclear.
So good luck today. You've got this. I'll see you tomorrow.